Softening a hard heart

Howdy! That's how we say hello in the desert Southwest ... well, not really ...but I wish we did, because I like it.

Anyway, what I mean to say is welcome to those of you who have found your way to my blog after reading my devotion about Soil and Dirt.

If you live in a part of the country where you have rich soil, I'm jealous for your delicious tomatoes and raspberries. We have good oranges here and any day now the trees will start to blossom and fill our streets with the most incredible fragrance ever. But I'd trade my orange tree for your raspberry bush any day of the week.

As I was reflecting about my heart and whether it's got more soil or hard dirt, I think it's half and half. Sometimes I find my heart very hard. Normally it's after I've been hurt by someone. It's like all the softness evaporates and all that is left is hard, crusty dirt.

When that happens, like it did earlier today, I find myself not really caring about the condition of my heart. It doesn't last for long, but it happens. I'm hurt. I'm mad. I'm offended. And I don't feel like doing anything about it except mulling over what happened and how wronged I am.

Even knowing I was going to write this post didn't help in that moment earlier today. I thought about all the things I would tell someone else. You know, all the RIGHT things that a Christian woman should say ... and believe. And still my heart felt hard. I wasn't ready to forgive the offense, and anyway, I hadn't received an apology.

The bottom line is I knew I needed to forgive the offence, but I didn't FEEL like doing it. Instead of waiting for the feelings to come (or the apology which never did) I had to make a choice. I had to ask God for His help to soften my heart, because I couldn't do it on my own. I asked God to help me feel like forgiving.

There was no immediate change of heart, but it was like the rising of the sun. It happened gradually and I was able to forgive.

As we at Proverbs 31 minister to women around the world, we find that many have been hurt deeply, offended greatly and offered no apology. I believe there are many reading this blog today who would say that has happened to them.

I know there are no easy answers. And it doesn't always help for someone to say the right words, because you already know them. So today, if that is you, I pray for God to soften your heart, just like the gentle rising of the sun. Perhaps it will happen so quietly that you won't notice it happening until you don't feel quite so hard and brittle.

Then, as God does His miraculous work, I pray you experience a softened heart to receive all that God longs to give you.

Until then, know that you have sisters in Christ who will pray for you, stand in the gap when you don't have the energy to do so yourself, and love you with the love of Christ.

Thank you for reading my blog today. If I can pray for you, please leave a comment. You can do so anonymously, God knows.

In His Love,
Glynnis

The Mystery of "Sync" Solved

I'm going to share something my family knows well, but few others do. I'm really, really, really bad at figuring out technology.

For example, we finally had to get one of those boxes that records tv shows because I couldn't remember how to operate the DVR. The advertisements promised that it was easy to record your favorite shows. They had me at "easy."

I had to go down to the cable store to exchange the cable box and was surprised when I didn't get a manual. I asked (nay, begged) the salesperson to PLEASE give me some sort of written directions for this new box. And she said there wasn't any, because it was so easy.

I looked at her and laughed out loud! "Ha!" I said. "You have no idea what I can NOT understand. I'm the queen of making easy things difficult."

Hence my experience with my I-pod. A few years ago my husband bought me this cute little I-pod Shuffle when I thought I was going to start running. I figured out how to buy songs on I-tunes and they automatically got on my library when I pressed "buy." My teenage son showed me how to get them from the library to the I-pod. My husband showed me how to put some podcasts on the I-pod. And I should have figured out how to do it by watching them. But I didn't.

Last fall, I needed to put some conference calls on my I-pod. I could get them to my I-tunes library, but I couldn't get them on the shuffle. I worked for hours, thinking surely, I should be able to do this myself. I e-mailed friends for help. I Googled instructions. I searched the I-tunes help pages. But nothing made sense. I actually cried over this, I was so completely frustrated with myself.

Finally, in annoyance at my own ineptitude, and after months of trying on my own, I asked my husband for help.

To his credit, he kept a straight face and said, "You sync it and they will be on the Shuffle." Within seconds it was done.

I couldn't believe it. For some reason, no matter how many times I read the instructions, I thought it should have been harder. I knew how to sync songs, but I thought the conference call recordings were different. I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT THAT!

This has bothered me for a month. I can't figure out why I couldn't get it. Then I realized that I sometimes I make life and faith too hard. I try on my own to solve problems, look on the Internet for answers, ask friends, and read books looking for answers.

When all along all I needed to do was sync my heart with God's heart. When I quiet all the internal fussing down, and put myself in a position to listen instead of talk, God speaks.

What an amazing gift God gives us when we look to Him for answers. He actually answers us in a way we can understand. When we expect Him to. When we listen for His answers.

It's simple, really. But in this super-complicated world, I expect it to be harder. I expect it to take more work on my part. God knew I needed it easy.

So, I've finally figured out how to put songs, podcasts and recorded conference calls on my I-pod. Now if I can just figure out that recording box the cable salesperson said was easy.

In His Love,

Glynnis

Tip for Managing Clutter

Have you ever thought that piles were taking over your home? Piles of clothes, magazines, dirty dishes, mail, etc.

Piles just seem to accumulate around most homes, and it just becomes easier to move them around than deal with them.

Today I want to share one of my daily practices for managing, actually avoiding, clutter. I am diligent in keeping clutter at a minimum around my home. Mostly because I live a very full life, and clutter drains a lot of energy from me that I can't afford to lose. Plus the fact that I've got five kids and two home-based businesses means I don't have time to clean up after the fact. I've included a photo I just took of my kitchen. You'll see my clean lunch dishes and a glass of water are the only things left out.

Another reason for keeping my home clean is I work here. My desk is actually in a nook under the stairs, and I have to look at my living room and kitchen all day long. So I really want it to be clean.

To keep things picked up, I give myself a simple command multiple times throughout the day:

Finish what you start.

Here's what I was doing when I had to tell myself that today:

• Cleaning my bathroom counter.
• Hanging up my bathrobe, instead of leaving it on my bed.
• Putting my pjs in the drawer, instead of leaving them beside by bathrobe on the bed.
• Cleaning my dishes after lunch.
• Folding a load of clothes.
• Putting the remote control where it belongs, instead of a convenient table top.
• Walking recyclable items all the way outside and not leaving them on the dryer.
• Hanging up a pair of jeans I wore yesterday and didn't hang up last night.

It seems that I want to stop just short of finishing a task. My inclination is to put clean and folded socks on top of the dressing instead of in the drawer. Or stack dishes in the sink instead of washing them. Or leave my jeans draped over the tub because I'm going to wear them again. It only takes seconds to move the task to completion, but for some reason I resist.

I see this behavior in my kids all the time. Instead of taking five more steps and putting their shoes in the closet, they get to the door of the room and drop them on the floor.

What is this within us that causes us to stop short of finishing what we start? I haven't figured it out, but I do know it is a cause of some clutter. Not all, mind you. But some.

Today my encouragement is to finish what you start. It's a little habit that can make a big difference in the clutter battle. Plus, I find that clear counters, dressers, tables, and couches help me clear my thinking. And believe me when I say I need all the help I can get in that area.

In His love,

Glynnis

Becoming a Woman of Dignity

Today I've got a devotion running on Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk about becoming a woman of dignity. I'd like to wish you a warm welcome if you are visiting my blog for the first time.

Seems there's often a battle going on within me about the woman I want to be and the woman I actually am.

You see, I have this vision of the woman I would like to be all the time. I'm her some of the time. But then "something" happens. Like, say, someone leaving something somewhere it's not supposed to be ... again. When that happens, like it often does in my house, the woman I want to be high-tails it for safer ground, and an undignified, blow-things-out-of-proportion woman shows up.

Where does that woman come from, I ask you.

I've realized she comes from some unidentified place down within me. That place where she's still a little girl stamping her foot and demanding her own way. She comes from that place where she has to have the last word, and be right all the time, and make sure everyone knows the "correct" way to do things, which is ... obviously ... her way.

And in that place down inside me, that undignified woman holds tightly to her own will, for fear that she'll be unappreciated, overlooked, disregarded, and irrelevant. And she's afraid, but it's hard to identify it as fear for the frustration and annoyance that covers it up.

It seems to be easier to lose my cool at times, than deal with the real issue: I like to be in control. And in reality, there are things I just can't control, as much as I would like to.

It comes down to a choice. One I have to make daily. I need to choose to submit my desire to be right and need for control to God.

Submitting those desires to God doesn't mean I care less about what's going on. It just means I'm choosing to trust God to watch out for me. He will be my defender when I feel taken advantage of. He will give me my worth when I feel unappreciated. He reminds me of my potential when I feel irrelevant. I don't have to grasp for those things by lowering my dignity and giving in to emotion.

So what are some way I keep my cool when things get tough? Well, when I do things right, here's what helps:

1) I prepare myself in advance through prayer. God's Word has amazing power to bring clarity to a situation.

2) I decide in advance how I'm going to respond to common triggers. For example, when a child whines that she is bored. Instead of giving her a lecture, I am ready with some suggestions on what she could do. That's much nicer than the, "When I was a little girl ..." speech.

3) I don't take things personally. I make a choice to believe the best about another. The truth is it's not all about me. It just feels like it sometimes. People don't always care about what I care about, and their priorities are the same as mine. But they aren't against me. I need to remember that God made people different for a reason.

4) I keep things in perspective. In July 2004, my niece was killed in a car accident. We miss her daily. As frustrated as I might get with someone I love, at least he or she is alive. That thought brings me to a place of persective faster than anything else.

5) I keep my mouth shut. Proverbs 18:7 says, "A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul." Yep, sometimes it's best not to say anything.

Proverbs 31: 25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

I may not be there all the time, but with God's help, I pray I'm becoming more a woman of dignity every day.

In His Love,

Glynnis

If I can just make it to the next light pole ...

I'm midway to my weight loss goal and feeling the same feelings. And I'm concerned.

This happens to me every time! My clothes start to fit and at the same time, I get tired of all the limitations. I get that inner 3-year-old whine going ... "Why can't I have two brownies! Waa!"

Plus, I know how hard it will be to lose these last 12 pounds. Why? Because I actually need to eat LESS than I have before. Eat less or exercise more. Both are a challenge.

As I put up the brownies last night that my son made (after allowing myself a small piece), I contemplated this challenge, and I remembered how I felt when I tried to start running last year. Instead of thinking about how far I wanted to run, I thought about just making it to the next light pole. That's all.

If on Tuesday I ran five more steps than I had on Monday, I was happy.

While I no longer run, thanks to birthing three children and being in my late 40s (some of you know what I mean), I realized I needed to apply that same principle to this weight loss challenge, and other challenges I'm facing. Here it is:

Sometimes, when I am feeling overwhelmed I need to set very small and immediate goals, and be happy when I make them.

For example, today, I am not going to eat any more of those brownies. Plus, I've already planned what I will eat today. I'm not worried about tomorrow or the weekend. Just today.

And instead of worrying about the 12 pounds I've got to lose, I'm only focusing on the next one. I'll be happy when/if I get on the scale tomorrow and it's down one pound.

I've also got a lot of work to do on my website business (www.RoseLaneCottage.com). But instead of feeling overwhelmed with all the work, my only goal is to get 6 new products online.

Sometimes I can look at a long to-do list and feel energized. But other times, I need to break it down and just put one manageable item before my eyes.

What do you need to do today that feels overwhelming?

Is it laundry? Do one load only and then put it up.
Is it cleaning? Pick one thing to clean and that's it for today. Your kitchen sink or bathroom mirrors are a good place to start.
Is it dealing with a defiant toddler? Pick one issue to stick to your guns about today. Only one.
Is it a huge task at work that you've procrastinated about? Make one phone call today.
Is it dealing with a difficult relationship? Make the decision to say one nice thing to that person today.
Is it your personal devotion life? Sit down and read one chapter of the Bible (the book of John is a good place to start). Then tell God one thing you are thankful for and one thing you need His help with.

Seems that life can overwhelm even the most competent woman. More than any goal setting trick, I need to remember that I don't have to do all this in my own strength. I was created to face life armed with God's strength.

Isaiah 40:29, "He gives strength to the weary and
increases the power of the weak."

Phillipian 4:13, "I can do everything through him who gives me
strength."

So today, I need to look to God for strength, take a breath and set smaller goals. Because some days all I can think about is just making it to the next light pole.

Proverbs 4:11-12, "I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble."

Have a lovely day,

Glynnis

Life is sweet, but heaven will be sweeter

*** Alert ***** I have actually included photos in this post. Could it be that I'm going to figure this thing out after all???

On to my thought for the day ...

There are many benefits to getting older. For example, I've finally discovered that I look better in warm colors: cream, brown, olive green, etc. Seems I was incorrectly "color draped" in the 80s and wondered why I was never completely satisfied with clothing purchases. (I thank my friend Shari Braendel for lovingly showing me my true colors ... not to be confused with the Cyndi Lauper song of the 80s)

Also, the negative opinions of others don't throw me into a tizzy any more. While I wouldn't have ever called myself a people pleaser, I could chew on a negative comment for weeks, allowing it to cause all kinds of internal conversations and turmoil.

I've also accepted some truths about myself, and that's really good. I can stop trying to be what I was never created to be - and that's a relief. I like to say, "The more I'm me, the better I am at it."

There's one other blessing of getting older, and it's that heaven looks more and more appealing than it did when I was younger. Don't read this wrong - I'm not ready to go today. I love my life and love serving God here. It's just that I don't dread the thought of leaving this earth like I once did.

One of the reasons for this shift in my thinking is coming into closer contact with the depravity of this world. Recently, I've walked down some paths with friends who have been horribly mistreated, abused and degraded. And their children have too. It's painful wrong.

As I get older, I also realize our bodies weren't meant to live forever. Disease afflicts us, just as it did my sweet sister Helen Ann. Just last week she had breast cancer surgery, and I got to spend a few days with her this week. (She lives in another state) We rejoiced to hear that the cancer hadn't spread, but she is left with a radical scar as she took an aggressive stance against this intruder. And she'll keep fighting with chemo starting in March.

So as I spend time at home today, I'm reminded of the sweetness of heaven.

And yet, God has not left us on this planet to suffer. He has nestled all kinds of sweetness into the world to show us His love. The most important evidence of His love is that He lavishly offers Himself. He offers us extravagant grace, kindness and comfort. What a gift.

On this Friday afternoon, I'm focusing on some of God's other gifts to me, and have taken some photos of sweet things on this earth that make me smile.

My daughter Cathrine is the only one who let me take a photo of her. She loves to watch tv on Friday afternoon, since we keep it off during the week. We have to pry the remote from her hands. My children make me smile.

I love red transferware. I've only recently started collecting it, and it's so lovely to create a vignette using pretty things.

I adore pink roses ... well actually all colors of roses. This is my favorite of all my roses. Its fragrance is pure and it holds its petals the longest.

This is our dog, Kona. She's a Siberian Husky, and has all the quirks of the breed - she yodels instead of barks, talks back, doesn't come when we call, is the worst watchdog in the world, runs instead of walks, and we are hopelessly in love with her.

There is so much more that makes me smile. My husband is one of them, but he refuses to have his photo taken. He's out running right now. I'm so proud that my 48 year old husband runs marathons and has done a half-triathlon. He'd love to qualify for the Ironman in Hawaii some day.

That's what's making me smile today. If you post some photos on your blog about what makes you smile, please let me know so I can come visit you.

Now I'm off to the post office.

In His Love,

Glynnis

Give Away Carnival

Today, in celebration of Mardi Gras, my Proverbs 31 sisters and I are participating in a carnival of celebration. Most everyone is giving away gifts, and so am I. If you keep reading you see links to my friends' site and a list of their giveaways. Please take the time to stop by, say hello and enter into the fun.

Speaking of fun and Mardi Gras, recently I was speaking in Walker, Louisiana. What fun I had! I fell in love with the ladies of Judson Baptist Church, and all their sisters from surrounding churches who set aside a Friday night and Saturday morning to hear from God.

I truly believe that each woman who attended was called by God to be there. It was no accident. And God had something special planned for each woman. But I've walked with God long enough to know that it's often what you would least expect.

I know that some women will be touched by God during worship, prayer time, the teaching, the door prizes, the fellowship or the meals. Yes - I believe God called some of those women there so they could feel His love through act of someone preparing the meals for them.

And what meals they were. I usually don't eat before I speak, but that Friday night dinner was magnificent thanks to Miss Ruby and her team. I even had seconds. Those ladies must have spent all day cooking - especially the King Cakes in honor of Mardi Gras. (Miss Ruby gave me her recipe and I left feeling like I was smuggling out a family treasure.)

Then when I didn't think anything could top the dinner, those precious sisters in Christ served a full breakfast the next morning. And I ate everything ... before I spoke. Don't even get me started on the gumbo for lunch. Then Miss Edith took me out for an oyster po boy. Lord, have mercy. I gained four pounds in two days. Really. I weighed myself before and after the trip. But it was worth it.

Everyone felt loved, appreciated, honored and delighted.

I tell you all this to highlight food as a cornerstone of celebration. There is so much love that goes into making food for someone else. Today I'd like to leave you with that thought, and this one: Consider how you can bless someone by making food. Here are some suggestions:

Make homemade jam.

Bake banana bread, with nuts or chocolate chips.

Make a pot of homemade spagetti sauce and deliver with pasta and a salad.

Homemade granola

Chocolate dipped pretzels or strawberries

Host a potluck and game night (then everyone gets to make something)

In celebration of food and gatherings, I'm giving away a beautiful French Country Wire Silverware basket you can set out on the counter for a buffet, plus a copy of my book "work @ home." My husband and I run a home-based business (http://www.roselanecottage.com/) and the silverware basket is one of the items we sell. We also have beautiful new office products if you have the time to look around. Go to "Cottage Office."

To win, simply post a comment on my blog, making sure I have a way to contact you. I'll select a winner at random by the end of the week. I'd love to hear if you make something special for your friends or family. I always am looking for new ideas.

Now on to the carnival. Please make sure you stop by my friends' blogs. Here are some of them and what you can win on their sites.

Wendy Blight http://www.wendyblight.com/ Wendy is giving away a copy of the “One Year Chronological Bible” and her book “Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Story.”

Shari Braendel http://www.sharibraendel.blogspot.com/ Shari is giving away three beautiful jewelry pieces to begin a spring wardrobe with! One for a Glamour Girl, one for a Movie Star and one for a Rock Star!

Micca Campbell http://www.miccacampbell.com/ Micca is giving away her book, “An Untroubled Heart,” and a cute clutch purse for those fun summer evenings!

Whitney Capps http://www.whitneycapps.blogspot.com/ Whitney is giving away a $30 Francesca's Gift card, redeemable at http://www.francescascollections.com/

Melanie Chitwood www.melaniechitwood.com/ Melanie is giving away one marriage conference call and her new book “What a Wife Needs from Her Husband.”

Lynn Cowell http://www.lynncowell.com/ Lynn is giving away a prize for mom and a prize for a teen girl in her life – the 3 book series B.A.B.E. series by Andrea Stephens (Beautiful, Accepted, Blessed, Eternally Significant) for the teen and for Mom a $10 gift card to Starbucks along with Lynn’s CD “Building a Bridge to Your Child’s Heart”.

Karen Ehman http://www.karenehman.com/ Karen is giving away a Winter White Basket centered on Psalm 51:7 "Wash me and I will be whiter than snow" that includes Skin Milk body wash, a white loofah, Winter White Citrus Bath & Body Works products, white lily linen and room sprays, white hot cocoa, a white mug and white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Along with it, a copy of her book on celebrations entitled “Homespun Memories for the Heart: More Than 200 Ideas to Make Unforgettable Moments.”

Suzie Eller http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/ Suzie is giving away a Logitech Pro 9000 2-megapixel Quick Cam webcam!

Zoe Elmore http://www.zoeelmore.blogspot.com/ Zoe is giving away a journal, a copy of “My Heart's Cry” by Anne Graham Lotz and a piece of jewelry Zoe style!

Charlene Kidd http://www.charlenekidd.blogspot.com/ Charlene is giving away a $20.00 Starbucks Gift Card and a copy of Karen Ehman’s book: “A Life That Says Welcome, Simple Ways to Open Your Heart and Home to Others.”

Tracie Miles http://www.traciemiles.blogspot.com/ Tracie is giving away her CD "Overcoming Stress with Extraordinary Faith" and a Soulmates Slipper with Christian Notepad and Pen.

Rachel Olsen http://www.rachelolsen.com/ Rachel is giving away "Bread for Life," a hardback copy of "The Daily Message: Through the Bible in One Year" by Eugene Peterson (which you can read this along with her this year) and the Williams-Sonoma Muffins cookbook.

Wendy Pope http://www.wendypope.org/ Wendy is giving away a copy of her book “Out of the Mouths of Babes” and her CD “Yes, No, and Maybe of a Balanced Life.”

Luann Prater http://www.luannprater.com/ http://www.encouragementcafe.com/ Luann is giving away an Encouragement Cafe mug and t-shirt for both sites!

LeAnn Rice http://www.leannrice.com/ LeAnn is giving away a copy of her cookbook “Sharing Grace: Recipes - Family Traditions- Gift Ideas” and a Starbucks gift card.

Susanne Scheppmann http://www.susannescheppmann.blogspot.com/ Susanne is giving away her "Birds in My Mustard Tree Bible Study" with an I-tunes gift card.

Renee Swope http://www.reneeswope.com/ Renee is giving away Lysa TerKeurst’s Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl DVD Set and her CD message, “Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt” on DVD.

Lysa TerKeurst http://www.lysaterkeurst.com/ Lysa’s give away is a Mom's Book Club gift pack including 4 copies of Lysa's book, "Am I Messing Up My Kids?" and a 30-minute Q & A conference call with Lysa.

Van Walton http://www.vanwalton.blogspot.com/ Van is giving away her DVD for children – “From the Pound to the Palace.”

She Read http://www.shereads.org/ She Reads is giving away two novels, “Watch Over Me” by Christa Parrish and “Screen Play” by Chris Coppernoll, and chocolate, courtesy of the authors. They will tell the story of how their writing brought them together - a love story, quite literally, fit for a novel!

RadRevolution http://www.radrevolution.org/ Our ministry to teen girls is giving away a copy of “Do the Hard Thing” along with a RadRev t-shirt!

Have fun as we prepare to enter the Lenten season on our way to Easter. The greatest celebration of our faith.

In His Love,

Glynnis

Congratulations to Kelly at www.myfaithfulliving.com. She was randomly selected the winner of a copy of "work @ home" and the silverware basket. Thank you to all who posted a comment. This was so much fun, we are already planning the next carnival giveaway.